Are You Actually Going to Touch That?

I am sitting here watching UT (Hook 'em) play Oklahoma State University mostly because some part of me would like to still be in College. It's a good game, mostly because we're winning. But I have to make an observation. The Head Coach of OSU is pacing the sidelines as most Head Coaches do, and he has with him his Princess Leia Earphones and his confidential Stack of Papers (the Stack of Papers that every Head Coach carries around during a game, but nobody knows what they really are...plays? Bible Verses? Voodoo Spells? Address Books? Sadly, we will never know).

Anyway, Mr. OSU has decided that it is most convenient not to hold this sacred Stack of Papers, but store it in his Pants. Yes, he is stuffing the Stack down the front of his Pants. Not all the way down there, but, you know, down there. I guess this makes sense, because they are very easy to grab at a moment's notice. But, my friendly advice to Mr. OSU: invest some of that extra Athletics Budget on a $1.25 Clipboard from Office Depot. Or even one of those stretchy Attach-to-Your-Beltloop clip thingies. But sir, the front of your pants? Gross.